Life isn’t about what happens to us, but how we react to it. If we choose hatred and unforgiveness, we become a reflection of both.
I watch countless true crime docuseries and the look on most victims of abuse, or relatives of these victims, is unmistakable. They spend most of their lives enslaved by resentment, hopelessness and an unforgiving heart.
They bury themselves alive and blame their abusers for it. Yet nobody has the power to bury us alive except ourselves.
We become a reflection of the people we choose to hate by keeping ourselves connected to them through a bond of hatred.
The desire to move forward is not enough. These chains can only be broken with love and forgiveness.
Forgiveness is an undeserved grace we receive. When we know that, we are humbled and filled with the desire to extend it to others. Because we all fall short of being good.
Loving ourselves is not genuine unless we can also love our abusers. As I explained in ‘Loving people we dislike’, we can love people we dislike and still not keep them in our lives if they don’t show repentance.
We need to allow ourselves to be divinely filled with forgiveness and love for our abusers.
Only then can we truly love ourselves, and heal.