Have you spent the last couple of years making concessions so you would fit in? A lot of us have. And while these circumstances were a trigger of fit-in behavior, we should take this opportunity to better understand why we gave in.
For what reasons, and for how long are we willing to dissolve ourselves and lose our own identities in order to be a ‘part’ of a world that does not love us? A world that will drop us if we fail?
The answer is: not too long until we become deeply frustrated, angry and bitter. And what will really haunt us is not our difficulty to forgive others, but to forgive ourselves as we live with the consequences of our own decisions knowing that we could have made better ones had we not given in to the fear of not fitting in.
We should all know by now that whenever we try to live by strict rules, we are bound to fail at some point. We are human, and thus we are inherently flawed. We are living the life that others expect us to live when we make an effort everyday to be the perfect people that we are not.
When we accept that we are not in control, and that we never were or ever will be, that frees us from living under unfair expectations and introduces us to the real life we never had before.
This real life is the one we are all called to live. And it is only when we surrender to Love that we start living it.
Because Love covers all our flaws.
And when we put Love first in life, and allow it to guide us, we do not experience regrets. With Love, life no longer feels like a countdown, because we know Love transcends space and time.
Love allows us to transcend the world and start living without fear, especially the fear of death that drives many of us to make hasty decisions thinking we are running out of time.
But so what if we are running out of time? Love makes a day feel like a year, and a year feel like a day. It gives us a conscience that is no longer bound by feelings of who we are not, or not being good enough, and takes us on a journey of who we were always meant to be.
With Love, we live what we can, how we can, when we can.
I had no trouble being myself in the last couple of years and lived a relatively normal life. And the secret is simple: I know how to be subtle about my different outlook in life. Instead of using these differences to confront others, I focus on similarities that can unite us.
Remember: we need to be patient with those who think differently.
We are not called to turn our differences into instruments of divisiveness. When we keep Love in the foreground of how we treat each other, these differences become secondary and often don’t even come up.
At the same time, we are also not called to be perfect, but to be loving. And to love each other regardless of our different choices in life, and our shortcomings.
When we live this way, we do not feel the need to fit in. Putting Love first in our lives gives us this confidence and allows us to enjoy the peace, joy and hope that come when we confidently know why we don’t fit in this world.